AreYouGame Prompt #2
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nal_rene Rating: PG-13
Warnings: mild language
Word count: 2196
Prompt: Final Fantasy VIII: Quistis/Seifer: Glare- at the front of the class.
A/N: It still needs a few more days of in depth editing, but this is what I've got. I like it.
Summary: Quistis regrets and resents many things, but one mistake, one person, keeps her up all night. And just when she thinks she has gone crazy... he shows up.
Quistis Trepe turned on the lamp at her desk as the sun began to fade out of the sky. It was late and she knew she should get some sleep, but it was hard to sleep . The sorceress war replayed in her mind every night, until she felt numb on the inside. Training helped her sleep well most of the time, but even when she ran her body ragged and managed to fall asleep, she would wake up with her gut twisting in guilt.
It was a last ditch effort, assigning page after page of assignments on various subjects, but it gave her an excuse to work instead of dream. Quistis had been noted as a better, sterner teacher because of it, but she knew it was only an attempt to escape her mistakes. She hated this.
While the second Sorceress war ended with many tragedies, its heroes would be worshiped until the end of time. They were treated with reverence and respect. Oddly, all of them even had their own fan club, much to Selphie and Zell's excitement. However, they were also given the responsibility of rebuilding and maintaining world order.
Irvine was named the official lesion between Bablamb and Galbadia to ease tension between both country and Garden. Rinoa, deemed harmless to the safety of the world, was at Squall's side as he took command of Bablamb Garden. Selphie did machine maintenance when she wasn't out on missions or rebuilding Trabia Garden. Zell gave extra hand-to-hand combat training to whomever asked and became a role model to a lot of people. Quistis was given back her instructors license, her mistake seemingly wiped from the books, so that she could train more SeeD.
Sure, she was allowed to do other things, but after everything was said and done, Quistis was still stuck behind that stupid desk in that sweaty classroom where her glared at her, stabbing her insides with guilt. Her friends on the other hand went on missions around the world together, even Squall and Rinoa got to go. She was left there alone.
"I need you to be there for other students as you were there for me. We have lost too many SeeD, we need good instructors."
Quistis wanted to tell him that she had made a mistake with him, that he was the reason she had her license taken back in the first place. That it was her blind dedication to him that caused the failure of so many other SeeD. She wanted to tell Squall that during the War, she had been beside him as a SeeD, as a friend, not an instructor.
"Besides, isn't this what you wanted? To teach?"
Once upon a time, she had wanted to do nothing more than to follow in Cid Kramer's footsteps and teach, but no more. She didn't want to rot in a classroom where she was haunted by invisible blue eyes glaring at her as she stood at the front of the class. It drove her insane to see the accusation, the pain, the desire, and the tentative hope in those ghostly eyes. Yet, even as she tried to forget the owner of those eyes, Quistis often found herself wondering if anyone else could see what she had. Couldn't they see that he wasn't much different than them?
Of course not. Seifer may not be much different than Quistis, but they were very different from the rest of the world's population. They built walls to protect their hearts and ended up strangers to themselves.
Quistis sighed and pulled out a bottle wine and poured at glass. Hours passed as she read student essay's, only taking in what they said long enough to grade their work. She hated being up all hours of the night grading papers. Couldn't Squall at least have put her in charge of physically training the cadets? Then she could be outside and the grading would be a lot easier. If they could hit the target then they passed. She shook her head at her own self pity. She couldn't blame this on Squall, this was her fault after all, she was the one assigning the work, not Squall. She could almost hear that arrogant, blond bastard's patronizing voice.
"Instructor," he would say. "I'm shocked! You drinking in class?
"Be quiet," Quistis said frowning at the paper on her desk. "I'll do what I want and screw the consequences later."
"Well, if your offering..."
Quitis looked up and was shocked to see Seifer Almacy standing in the doorway, smirk fixed to his face and blue eyes laughing at her. She blinked, "Great now your ghost is haunting me and not just your eyes. I really need some sleep."
Seifer's boots were soundless as he walked over to her desk. "Haunting you?"
"Yes, haunting me," she gestured to where his seat used to be. "Everyday and all the time you're there glaring at me for letting you down, for favoring Squall, for not being able to keep you from getting on that train, for not taking you with me, for not being able to convince you that the Sorceress couldn't ever give you what you wanted." She took off her glasses and rubbed her eyes. "What am I telling you this for? You already know. I don't need to tell you why you do something. It must be the insomnia making me see things that aren't really there, maybe the wine too. I should put it away."
Seifer was quiet as he stared at Quistis for a moment, somewhat shocked at her show of weakness. He never imagined that he could get a lot of information by talking to her when she was exhausted. Shaking his head he said, "No, you need to throw it out." He picked up the bottle and tossed it out the window.
Quistis leaped to her feet and rush to the window. "Hey," She glared at Seifer who rolled his eyes. "That was expensive stuff. What do you think-"
"Is it any good?" He interrupted gesturing at the papers on her desk. "The essay."
Quistis frowned, honestly not able to give an opinion. She hadn't been really reading it. "Well it's no sex fantasy like you would write," she shot back irritably.
Seifer laughed, "You have to admit that it riled you up. Do you still have it?"
"No," she said a little too quickly.
Seifer laughed. She looked at him, calm even though her cheeks were bright red. She hadn't known him to laugh so much. Not since the orphanage. She wondered if he remembered. She wondered if it mattered anymore. Then she remembered that he was just a ghost and not really there.
She sighed and went back to her desk, "Go away, Seifer. You're just a ghost and I don't need someone to come along and tell Squall I was talking to a figment of my imagination. I worked hard enough getting this far, I'm not going to let you ruin it."
"Hmm," he moved to stand behind her and leaned down to whisper in her ear, "If I'm a ghost, then can I call you Quisty?"
"No," she said sternly, trying to ignore his breath on her neck and the tingle it caused.
"What about just Quistis then? I mean, I'm not really your student anymore." He moved a little closer and she shivered involuntarily.
"You may call me Quistis so long as you respect my personal boundaries," She replied.
Seifer chuckled, "All right then, Instructor." He nipped her ear and she shot straight up out of her chair, cheeks red and eyes wide. She leaped over the desk and drew her whip. He blinked then laughed, "I, Seifer Almacy, have acheived the impossible. I have startled Instructor Quistis Trepe."
"That's not to hard to do," she said irritably.
"Really?" Seifer crossed his arms, "It was hard when I knew you. You were the Ice Queen then and the students now aren't whispering any different."
"I'm not made of Ice. I just like to have control of my emotions and rarley let people see them."
"People meaning anyone, but Squall?" He asked bitterly.
"Favoring Squall was a mistake." She sighed, "Back then I didn't realize that my desire to protect him was because I view him a little brother. I couldn't remember the orphanage and no matter how old I acted I was still a teenager. I'm not much older than you, after all."
Seifer examined her, inspecting the truth for signs of a lie. "Okay, so you have feelings, that's good to know. But how did I startle you? You knew I was there."
"I haven't been sleeping well and you're a ghost," Quistis shifted uncomfortably.
He chuckled. "Did my scary stories scare you?"
“No of course not,” Quistis glared. “But I shouldn't have been able to feel... that.”
“Oh come on,” he teased. “You were terrified.”
Obviously there was no way to win this point and further argument would prove to be a waste of time. Quistis sighed, "Lets just say that Zell wasn't the only one who couldn't go to sleep because of you."
"You're not afraid now, are you?" Seifer raised an eyebrow playfully.
"Of course not." Quistis folded her arms and tilted her chin up, "There is nothing to be afraid of. You are a figment of my imagination."
He shook his head, walking towards her. She stepped back in response. He stopped, "I thought you said you weren't afraid, that there was nothing to fear."
"There is nothing to fear because you can't hurt me, but I might hurt myself. You are a ghost, so you can't do a thing to me, but you are also a figment of my imagination. And trust me, my imagination is pretty damn scary. I frequently get lost." Quistis
Seifer blinked, lost by the end of the first sentence. “Hmm...”
She frowned and blinked tiredly, "I must be more tired than I thought I was. Maybe a bucket of cold water would do the trick... Why am I telling all this stuff to you?"
Seifer smirked slyly, "It's because I'm a ghost. You have nothing to lose by talking to me because you're essentially talking to yourself. And because you have nothing to lose, you are doing all of the things you wish you could because I'm not really here." He backed her against a desk gazing into her eyes. She was lost, tired and hurt.
He asked softly, “Are you sure that it hasn't been your own eyes haunting you, Quistis? They're blue too.”
"Nothing to lose, huh?" Quistis asked voice quiet and contemplative.
"Nothing," Seifer smirked.
She pressed a hesitant kiss to his lips. He wrapped his arms around her waist and deepened said kiss. It was fireworks. It was victory. It was simple bliss. She pulled back for air and rested her head on his chest.
"Oh Seifer," she said regret coloring her tone. "You were always my favorite, but I made you hate me. You're so... frustrating. I made a mistake and I'm so..." She yawned, "sorry..." She closed her eyes and fell asleep.
Seifer looked down at Quistis, surprised."I was your favorite? Really?" He shook his head and lifted her up. "I should get you to bed."
Seifer ignored the stares as he carried her to her room. He used her card to open the door and put her in bed. She was light, as if she trained, but forgot to eat or didn't eat enough. "Coffee doesn't count as food," he muttered and tucked her in.
He looked down at her then looked about her room. Clean. Impersonal. There was nothing there that indicated who lived there, save the clothes in her closet. Then he saw the sketchbook. He opened it up and saw scene after scene of her memories. The deformed bear she used to hug when he made her cry. Zell and Selphie making a sandcastle. Squall holding someones hand and hiding behind her skirt. Irvine dozing in a kiddy hammock. Matron. Cid. And... him smiling brightly while Squall sulked and Irvine hugged a sobbing Selphie and Zell.
He remembered that day. She hadn't wanted to leave, but tried not to cry so as to seem brave. He had had to find her, when her new family came to take her, and dragged her out from under his bed. Quistis had cried then, when only he could see. Seifer had made a promise to come find her and save her, to be her knight.
He looked at Quistis's sleeping form and felt a little dizzy. He had never forgotten his promise to be a knight, but he had forgotten who he had made it to. How could he have forgotten that his promise was for her? What would he do now?
He felt a deep feeling of regret as he said to Quistis, "Don't worry, Quistis. You think I was a ghost, so I won't bring this up, but I haven't forgotten my promise. I'll save you. I'll save you from yourself."
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