I see in a Haze of Blue and Grey

[nal_rene]

I feel really depressed. I don't think its the weather, because it was overcast and rainy yesterday too (Because no shit, its washington!). I think I am having post PMS depression, but i've never had it anywhere near this bad. I don't feel like killing myself... I just feel... really upset. I want to scream and nothing makes me feel better. If its even a tiny bit noisy I want to kill everything  and if its silent I want to bawl my eyes out or die! I'm not even sure if Brianna's voice will help me today. I hope so, but I so don't want to talk on the phone. I really don't. But I really really want to talk to Bri...
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I've been sitting here for awhile just doing nothing. I really want to curl up and die. I think I will surf around for bad harry potter fanfiction. I really don't want morgan to come home. I really want him to just disappear. No... I'm the one that wants to disappear. I don't want to be around anyone in my family. I really just want it to be me and mom... just us... Morgan and dad can go on a two month vacation for all I care. Better yet I wish Morgan had never been concieved, in thought and in a physical sense. I just want it to be us three. I really miss just being with my parents with no thoughts about Morgan. GOD! I CAN'T EVEN TELL THEM!!!! They already think I hate morgan. I don't...



Bri lets run away to Colorado or something.