Where Does The Sky Go At Night

I've been acting for 7 years now, I'm going to college for a theater degree, and since no one else wants to hire me (Seriously, I have applied for every entry level position that's come up in the area and no one has even responded for an interview.) I decided to look around the talent section of craigslist. There are some great short films and full length films being made here in the Seattle area. So I've applied for an audition. PLUS I've signed up for some work as an extra.

Cross your fingers because I need work.

( On a Fandom Note )

Update on my areyougame prompts coming soon.

Talk about fun... even if there were three small dogs running about and sniffing where they shouldn't. My most memorable phrase for all of an hour, "No puppies. You don't want to be licking my hand."

Much fun. :D

Anyway, school has started and it's cool. I'm freaking out though because Periera has givien me some very bad news... instead of eight weeks, we reduced it to 7 weeks of rehearsal for my play. But the worst part of this, It might get reduced to only 4 weeks. Not possible. This is very very bad! :(

Other than that I have to say it's all very fun. Everyone is really chill. Surprising for a High School.

I also am in love with my current RP. Light is a demon. Hope is a priest. Sahz is a demon hunter. Fang is a dragon. Snow is a vampire. And Vanille is a lonely witchdoctor. Fun, Fun, Fun!

This week has been cool. Only 3 days of school and despite the stress with the play, I think this week has been awesome. I have three good scholarships to apply for.

Tomorrow is me and my girlfriend's two month anniversary and I think I am silly. I was determined not to be the silly girlfriend who gets excited over two months, but after yearning for so long I guess it's okay for me to be so excited. I have to figure something out to make tomorrow special. Maybe I am just being really silly. IDK.

Saturday is Bri's birthday. I am getting her a french press. She desperately needs coffee.

I do have to say that 5th period is even more difficult to ignore the idiots because they are IDIOTS! They don't listen and they talk too much. I really wish I could just do this... not this period. Oh well, only 45 days left of this class.

Ouch. I hurt my hand.

So I realized, talking to some of my friends at lunch that I can't really talk to them about my relationship/relationship status. Juliet was talking about how her and her boyfriend (well he is practically her boyfriend) talk about stuff before they do things. For example: they talked about holding hands before it happened, talked about being together before it happened, and the major recent thing they talked about was kissing, the how and where and when.

She asked me if that was awkward or weird. I told her no.

I wanted to tell her about how me and my novia talked 6 hours before our relationship happened. So no it wasn't weird. I wanted to tell her that - though the conversation took place in 30 seconds and i don't really remember what I said - we talked about kissing before it happened. I wanted to tell Juliet that it made me feel safer and that was why it wasn't an awkward thing. I wanted to tell her this, but I didn't... I couldn't.

 So I simply said that it wasn't a weird thing. That it wasn't unusual. That it was a good thing.

 It's hard being in a relationship with my girlfriend because I can't tell anyone. If I do... well my school is awesome about being tolerant, but it's still so hard. I don't want to be labeled as lesbian, because I'm not. Or bi-sexual because I'm not. I love who I love. I love someone because... I do. I love because of the emotional and intellectual and physical bond I share with them. And I don't want people to say this is just a phase because it's not. I love her for better or worse, though I don't really know her feelings. She loves me. My inner paranoia says that she may or may not, but that's stupid.

Ugh... complicated much. I want... hmm... not to think about this doubt and indecision. But I do. Man my physiological data is totally going to plummet to the realms of depression today... oh well.

Weight lifting was quite the experience today. The chick I weight lift with (the sophomore) might be pregnant. She is concerned because her period is late and she had sex with her boyfriend last week. Some of it was without a condom because they wanted to know the feel. Well he did. She completely accepts the blame because she let him do it, but she's concerned and I want to help her. I told her to wait until next week and take a pregnancy test then we could go from there.

I'm pretty sure that mom will take us to planned parenthood if I ask.

Okay I just asked. No she would not, but I have a whole new bolstering of information for her. And I could help her get a bus to planned parenthood, but she might just be overacting. Her period is late, but it could be the stress because that will delay its timing. It could also be a change of environment. Also, it's only 2 days late. That's not unusual.

Stress is gone now. :) Yay!!!

I hope that Pereira has the scripts in now. If so then I have 7 minutes until I get to start reading scripts. That will make me very happy.

I feel really depressed. I don't think its the weather, because it was overcast and rainy yesterday too (Because no shit, its washington!). I think I am having post PMS depression, but i've never had it anywhere near this bad. I don't feel like killing myself... I just feel... really upset. I want to scream and nothing makes me feel better. If its even a tiny bit noisy I want to kill everything  and if its silent I want to bawl my eyes out or die! I'm not even sure if Brianna's voice will help me today. I hope so, but I so don't want to talk on the phone. I really don't. But I really really want to talk to Bri...
...
...
...

I've been sitting here for awhile just doing nothing. I really want to curl up and die. I think I will surf around for bad harry potter fanfiction. I really don't want morgan to come home. I really want him to just disappear. No... I'm the one that wants to disappear. I don't want to be around anyone in my family. I really just want it to be me and mom... just us... Morgan and dad can go on a two month vacation for all I care. Better yet I wish Morgan had never been concieved, in thought and in a physical sense. I just want it to be us three. I really miss just being with my parents with no thoughts about Morgan. GOD! I CAN'T EVEN TELL THEM!!!! They already think I hate morgan. I don't...



Bri lets run away to Colorado or something.